Please don’t think you need to “get over” it.
Don’t think you just need to “be strong.”
Don’t think you need to “fix yourself.”
Because you’re human, and when you’re human, you’re guaranteed to experience these confusing things called feelings.
Whether you’ve had your heart stripped wide open from the loss of someone who really meant something to your world, or you’ve had that same heart huddled up tight from a different type of loss—a job, a past, an identity, an opportunity, or even your sense of self—change hurts. Loss hurts. Life hurts.
Sometimes, experiencing these hurting feelings might not always be the easiest to, well, experience. And standard advice to just “feel your feelings” feels, well, a bit unfeeling. Generic. Blanket. Cliché. And far easier said than done, of course.
Feelings in and of themselves are hard enough. But when you feel alone with those feelings, being a human just got a lot harder. While you know those emotions are “necessary,” you don’t know what, exactly, to do with them. So instead of feeling your feelings—you feel lost. Lost is confusing. Lost is scary. Lost is lonely.
Sometimes lost is the dirtiest 4-letter word of all.
But whoever you are, and whatever difficult threshold you face, I want you to hear this:
Despite a culture that’s constantly telling you, “You can do it!” and “Think positive!” …sometimes, you can’t.
Because you’re a beautiful, tender, emotion-laced human. And sometimes, what we all need is another human to help us over the shattered shards of life and through those important changes. Until you can finally look deep within yourself and see the small glimmer of light that was there all along.
That light?
That light is the fire in your belly…
That light is eagerly waiting for an invitation to come out and shine.
Together, we’ll discover that light.
No matter how dark it is. No matter how hard it seems. No matter how confused, ripped apart, and broken you feel. Or even if you can’t remember the last time you felt anything at all.
Because dark and torn open is okay.
Because paralyzed, numb, and afraid is okay.
Because upended and in transitional turmoil is okay.
Because that little crack in your emotions that’s beginning to show is okay.
Because lost?
Doesn’t have to mean losing yourself.
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Though the human body is born complete in one moment, the birth of the human heart is an ongoing process. It is being birthed in every experience of your life. Everything that happens to you has the potential to deepen you. It brings to birth within you new territories of the heart. — John O’Donohue