true self

What Are We Doing and Why? The Touchstones of Undoing Aloneness and Reflecting Worthiness

A new client began to cry in the middle of our second session. She immediately turned away in shame, hiding her face behind an impenetrable wall of curly, dark hair. I gently asked her what had happened, there in that flash of a moment of turning away. “I hate to cry. It’s weak.” I only knew a little of her history, but enough to imagine my way into her experience. “If your dad was so cruel to you with his words, I can imagine that he might have humiliated you for crying.” A vigorous nod, while still looking away. “Yeah. […]

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The Truth of the Matter: What is Your Deepest Goal as a Therapist?

  I help a lot of people work through a lot of different life issues when they come to my office: People come for solace when they’ve lost a loved one. They look to me for light in the darkness when they’re depressed. They seek guidance when they’re going through a big life transition—good or bad. They hope for support when they feel isolated. They want help to deal with trauma. I help them make their way through all these varied situations, yet there’s something underlying each circumstance that resonates with the universal. What is it, exactly, during each and […]

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